The Beginning of the End

Well things are about to change in my life as if they haven't already changed enough. People are moving away that I care about a lot but I'm happy for them because they are moving on to something new. Even though I'm left behind I know that God has his plan for them to make them the most happy. Nicky has always been a good friend to me through a lot of years but I'm happy for her because I know she likes school and will enjoy it up there quite a bit. I wish the best for Sloan for when she moves up there and starts school. She has always been a good friend and I'm glad I got the opportunity to get to know her in this life. We won't be seeing each other very much anymore but hopefully we'll see each other at least once a month but at least she has Nicky and Connerie to hang out with and to make her happy. All of this stuff will be the biggest change for me because I'll have less chances to hang out anymore but yeah I knew this day would come sooner or later.

At least I still have Laura here. She is the only one who can be there for me in case of an emergency. I really need a friend who can be there for me this year otherwise its going to be a very long year until my friends come back next summer but I'm sure Laura and me will stay close and hang out quite a bit. Thank goodness we started being good friends again at this moment in time. It is a true blessing because now I have at least one person here while everyone is gone and across the globe. It's a very sad day for me and I'm not sure what's going to be of my future at all. I'm glad I have my mission to keep me somewhat distracted by all these bombardments of trials and changes with my family and friends. I will not deny though that I all of the sudden feel very lonely. I feel very lost and just plain confused. I wish that God would take all of this away but I know in the end that it is for my good and that's the only thing that keeps me going in times like this or otherwise I would have 2 disorders not just one. I would like to say that I'm going to be strong and can be tough but I'm not. I'm a very tenderhearted person and am very sensitive to things like this even though I've been through a lot of things that should have made me completely numb to pain but no, i'm not at all. I still feel it very much.

I really hope things will begin to start being better with everything because I really need it to. Its hard to stay positive in times like these but I really am trying but I also don't want to act and pretend I'm happy when I'm not. Well this truly is the beginning of the end and the start of the beginning of a new beginning and it all started when my service mission started but now it is becoming more fulfilled. I miss being a kid when my pain was being grounded for not cleaning my room...